lalaland

2010-10-03T21:03:00.002+08:00

A new post. A new beginning.

The unexpected accident involving the Singaporean student in London reading medicine in Cambridge made me realise one thing. Life can be really unpredictable, and just one thing can just take away everything that we have ever worked hard for. She was a straight A's student from RGS, RJC, on an ASTAR science scholarship, studying medicine at cambridge. Those are want I've always wanted, but at the end of the day, she lost all of those, including her own life, in just one accident. She had so much potential in her life but she couldn't live it out. This made me realise that I don't have those, but at least I still have my life. I should just treasure life and whatever that comes with it. I gave up those scholarships and overseas education opportunities and I will just stick to my decisions. no point keep thinking about them and regretting because life won't move on if I keep thinking. Life's short enough, I don't need to make it even shorter. One more thing, life's full of surprises, maybe it will give me a sweet and unexpected surprise one day.

2010-09-20T21:17:00.002+08:00

Ever since I watched that show, I've been having this feeling that I can't really describe. I haven't had such feelings for a show before. I don't know why I feel like this but I really really like it. Maybe its because the story line is nice, maybe its really funny and the actress is really pretty. and i start to think how nice it would be if I was her and the story is real. the past two weeks since i watched it I have always been feeling something is missing in my life, i really want a life like that, and its on my mind 24 hrs everyday. i can't stop thinking about it and its irritating me. I've been running on autopilot mode everyday i realise, and i can't seem to be interested in anything but that show. i've lost my motivation to study, to carry on with my life, because i want a life like in the show. and its stressing me out because i can't be having exams yet keep thinking about it because my results will be affected. I don't know how to find back that spark to keep me going and keep me motivated to achieve my goals.

I'm ranting here coz this blog is inactive and i don't think anyone's reading it haha.

2010-04-12T22:17:00.003+08:00

Anw 2010 really sucks. life's so busy that I haven't had the time to reconnect with friends. it feels like i haven't really talked to anyone (like meaningful talk) in a really long time coz life's so busy that once you get sucked into the rat race you can't get out. seriously i need to really catch up with old friends but i can't do it this holiday coz of the US trip and stupid cts that test like almost every chapter since j1. i really can't wait to finish a's and get out of vj so that i can go work in a bridal agency or something haha.

2010-04-12T21:44:00.002+08:00

I have this super complicated lifeplan that I made and I'm really really confused haha

you see, after a long long round, I finally came back to my initial plan, to study medicine, coz after so long and while in the process of making other plans, I realised that what I really wanted was medicine. haha so i decided to settle on medicine. but the thing is, NUS medicine's really hard to get it. so of course i need to make plans if i dun get in. so i was considering going overseas to study medicine, but then its going to be expensive coz there are no scholarships available, and that it will be hard for me to practise in singapore. so if i don't study medicine, i'll study some science degree then if i still want medicine, i can still choose to study in graduate medical school in Duke-NUS or overseas. but if i were to study a science degree, then I don't really feel like going NUS coz I'd rather go overseas to study instead not really because NUS is not that good but really for the exposure. then i'll need to apply for scholarship and apply to overseas uni by this sept. but I can't apply for them so early coz I won't know whether i can get into NUS med. then if i can get in nus med, then i'll have wasted my time plus other people time to help me get ready me applications. haha confused? yea i'm equally confused and lost too. so how? should I still apply for scholarships and UK unis or wait until next year when i find out whether i can get into NUS med first then see how? so if i can't get in, then I'll apply to go overseas in the following year, which is 2012. then i'll have wasted a year. haha.

anw, shall leave this for this week. think about it few weeks later haha or maybe after i come back from the US trip to see if i can study overseas in the first place haha

2010-02-21T01:21:00.002+08:00

CTs are in two weeks time and I haven't really started studying. haha great.

plus I kinda didn't listen to all the new physics and econs lectures so I'm damn confused now haha. I keep telling myself to start listening but it doesn't seem to work.

Don't know why but my year has been pretty screwed up. Academically it's still quite ok but it wasn't as good as last year. then training. Kinda lost my motivation to train already. Not because of the bronze medal but the fact that we only got a bronze. I think there's this emotional barrier that keeps telling me that I suck. I think the reason is that I'm not improving, rather, I'm getting worse. and I keep getting trashed by my sparring partner:( I fenced really badly during novices. and yes. you don't have to tell me in my face that its my fault. I know it myself. reverse psychology freaking doesn't work on me. it backfires. its my mental side that's pulling me back. and of course, lack of training. but I can't train coz CTs are coming up. Its not that I don't want to train. I hate it when people start questioning my commitment towards fencing. but what the freak, I know it myself can already. and somehow my intuition tells me coach gave up on me. its making everything worse.

And then it's that problem. I just want to fence ok, not think so much about other stuff. and its giving me a lot of stress. he's not giving up and I really don't want to hurt him again. it freaking spoiled my CNY holiday. thinking about that. i don't know what to do and its kind of irritating me.

2010-02-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

Recently I did an essay on how Singaporeans are apathetic towards politics. And today we were talking about how chang isn't so bad, but only because we were horrible to him.

Well, I think Singaporeans aren't apathetic towards politics, just not thinking critically. The ST isn't pro-government, they're just trying to remain neutral and give people a balanced view point. Maybe I'm more towards the anti side, but it is true that gov isn't reading too much comments that are against it. That's why the opposition parties are there for, but they don't seem to be doing too much. I think people should read the online citizen, it gives both the good side and the bad side and really just reports the truth as it is. since it is an online media, there isn't much gatekeeping as it is not censoring anything. the comments that its readers post are even more interesting:)

2010-01-28T13:09:00.002+08:00

a day at the hospital wasn't as bad as I thought. Initially I was pretty afraid of what's going to happen to me and it just caught me so unexpectedly. the pain wasn't that bad, just the little discomfort of having something stuck in your hand and not able to move it however i want to. But nevertheless, what really touched me was the concern that the nurses, the service staff, the sister showed me. not really the doctors though. i hardly even saw my doctor for at least 10 mins. but anyway, the nurses, especially the ones on night duty the first night i was there, were really funny and tried to make me more comfortable and relaxed. then the next morning, the nurse on duty was really busy but it was kinda cute that she kept having to check my tag for my name before giving me my injection and medication. like again and again. haha and she didn't let me walk. but oh well, i guess she was just being safe. the service staff, even the auntie cleaning the floor was really nice and concerned. and the sister who went around everyone's bed and asked them how they were and chatted with me. then on the second night, the nurse was nice too and kept asking if i was alright when injecting the last bout of antibiotics. then she took out the IV thing. haha like finally. i was waiting for that the moment they stuck it in me haha.

Anyway, what i really want to say is: Thank you, everyone. especially my parents and my sister and my grandma and my aunties and everyone else. my parents had to work the next day yet they stayed with me till like 12 and my mom was kinda busy so she brought her laptop with her to work. then my sis who came straight after work even if she had a half day off to come visit me and i could see how tired she was as she fell asleep on my bed. then my aunt and grandma who came around noon to bring me (nice) food and accompany me because I was so bored there. yup, so thanks everyone, even for the small small things that you all have done for me, even for helping me plug my computer coz i couldn't do it myself.

i feel kind of bad because i insisted to go for the bbq which caused the whole thing. and the bill came up to a thousand plus for just one day at the hospital. luckily there was partial insurance coverage.

But I think it was a small blessing in disguise. after staying in bed for the whole day, i think my achilles heel finally recovered. but I can't go for training yet. so which means when i go for novices on sunday, provided I recover in time, I will be kind of going there unprepared. but nevertheless, I rather try my best there than withdraw from it which would be giving up. even if i don't come back with a medal, at least i can say that i tried my best, but due to unforeseen circumstances, things don't always go the way i want them to. I can only hope for the best.

2010-01-23T21:45:00.002+08:00

I need my archilles heel to heal faster. I only have one week to go. SHIT.

And I thought archilles was a fast runner, why didn't it run away faster?

Anw, yes! SAT is OVER. Like finally. spammed tv today haha. after not watching TV for the past 2 weeks haha. BUT then I look at the work that I still have to do.

the next two weeks of school will be very busy because of training and stuff. assuming I can still fence. Urgh. novices faster over. Very stressing haha.

Anw I realise technically school ends at 2.30 everyday except friday which ends at 1245. but then friday will then be the longest day for me, ending at 10 plus because of my two tuitions and training. then the whole week I will only be able to go home at 5/6/7 plus except tues. haha i thought I was supposed to spend more time studying. oh wells.

Perseverance's the word.:)

2010-01-17T01:34:00.002+08:00

I need to do something. if not I'll start losing them all.

2010-01-10T22:54:00.002+08:00

Another nice post from Mr Brown:

A certain Eric How, allegedly a Young PAP (YPAP) member, got into a flame war with some 3in1kopitiam forumers on Facebookand posted this little gem:

"Do not be bitter and go on slapping on the Government senselessly because you did not get any fruits or benefits from your forefather. You will have to blame on your karma or your forefathers for not getting all the paths right for their off springs. My folks did the right thing by getting all the stuffs ready for us and we will never ever need to nag about the Government giving jobs to foreigners instead of locals. In fact, we create jobs for others. Our folks even make sure that we guys do not need to squeeze into public transport by getting each of us a personal car.
The job market is an open competition whereby the best person gets the job and not because of nationalities. Buck up and do something right for you’re off springs so that they will be thankful to you and not turn up to be like you guys nagging senselessly.

I think Mr Eric How is right. Don't blame the gahmen for your lack of fruits and benefits! Blame your own suay karma! Blame your forefather! Who asked your loser forefathers to be useless coolies slogging away at some blue collar job? It is their fault for not setting you up with jobs and careers!

Look at Mr Eric How! His parents did the right thing by "getting all the stuffs ready" for him. No need to rely on the gahmen for jobs! Mommy and Daddy set him up good!

In fact, his Mommy and Daddy "create jobs for others", ok? We should THANK the likes of Eric How and his family for our jobs and for not being a burden to the state.

And if you feel that public transport has been less crowded lately, you can thank this Eric How and his family too! His Mommy and Daddy got him and his siblings a personal car each, so that they don't need to squeeze into the MRT and buses and add to the congestion!

How can we ever thank this Eric How and his loaded elite family for their benevolence and love for the common man? They are so considerate!

If only YPAP had more members like Eric How who truly care for the masses and contribute so much to the good of the nation!

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that was a great post haha

haha shit I think I'm getting too brainwashed from reading Mr Brown's blog. but then again, they make sense.

2009-12-27T03:23:00.003+08:00

Ok, I decided that this shall be a happy post to make up for the last depressing post haha:) Anw, so Christmas was spent with lunch at vivo with family then a short shopping spree! Wanted to go shopping yesterday too, coz its Boxing Day! yea, boxing day sales have started. but dunnoe why ended up spending the whole day watching videos at home haha! then I couldn't take it so I ended up pulling my parents to the airport for Popeyes:) haha my favorite:) Anw, I'm going shopping again later haha

Anw, this holiday has been kind of empty, with only training, just look at the news feed in facebook then can see how much activities ppl are having:( Esp the ocip ppl and everyone having their christmas parties. Actually, I kind of regretted not going for the Interact OCIP or the one lynette asked me to go because it clashed with FM open and Cedar homecoming. hmm, I guess the timing's not right, hope there will be more to come:) Anw, so I was reading Mr Brown's blog and he was giving a 3D2N getaway to Bintan, decided to just send in an entry to try my luck and spice up my holiday. haha but sadly, didn't get it coz my entry was simply very stupid. But nevertheless, he gave the holiday out to a woman, who's husband just recovered from cancer, and coincidentally, her husband sent in a entry too! But, they really deserve it, good choice Mr Brown:)

2009-12-22T22:36:00.002+08:00

As the year comes to an end soon, there're still many things I need to do, yet I can't seem to find the time to do, or really I do not want to find the time. I guess its time I should face myself, to be myself, and think through the things I had done throughout this year, but sometimes facing myself scares me out because it isn't so nice, really.

Every holiday, it would be the perfect time to meet out old friends and catch up with them. But every holiday when I meet them, I start to see how much I've changed and my friends have changed. A friend commented to me once, that its weird that the people that I hang out with are so different. My primary school clique, lower sec clique, upper sec clique, band friends, are all different groups of people. Then I start to realise that maybe I've changed so much over the years that people I hang out with are different too. Every time I step into a new environment, a new class that I know no one, it takes me quite a while before I can find the people that I'm comfortable with, and every time they're different. Maybe its because I try to change myself to fit myself in with them that made me change over the years. In lower sec, I was hardworking, very competitive, which I am embarrassed of it now, and studies to me were the most important thing. Then came to upper sec, my friends were all fun-loving, yet hardworking at the same time. Band became a priority for me and I have loved it and put in all my effort into it. Studies no longer were that important, and gladly, my competitive streak toned down. Ever since coming to JC, I started to have wider goals, started to want to achieve and do things that were more meaningful, other than just focussing on my studies or my CCAs.

I think this year was the one that I have changed the most. I guess its because of all the things that I've gone through this year. I'm just not sure whether its a good thing or bad thing.

2009-12-20T23:14:00.003+08:00

tomorrow's schedule:

9-12: fencing training in school

10-11: go with dad to register for SATS

12-3: fencing training at FM with CJ fencers

12-6: class lunch and movie outing

10-1/2: CIP at NUH with the children

How?

If only I can spilt myself into 3 parts.

Why must everything freaking be on the same day!?

2009-12-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

oh man. I really miss the clique!!haha need to get together soon. and meet mole soon! haha so excited for homecoming to come!!!:)

and of course 09S43!!haha haven't seen them in more than 2 weeks le!!! haha can't wait for chalet too! and of course my birthday haha

those three days seem like the most happening days of my holidays...everything seems to fall on them haha. but at the same time its like the last 3 days of the year. hmm. then next year will come and A's will come.

haha I have this really long list of friends I wanna meet out and catch up with! haven't seen them or talked to them in a really long time because of school and training. hope I can see all of them before the holidays end! then again..I have so much homework that I haven't started on haha. Shall cut down on my drama time haha

Anw this week I have been training daily for FM open. today I fenced really disappointingly. Hope its only today! haha i mean yesterday:)

2009-12-15T23:23:00.004+08:00

I came back from Spain a couple of days ago, but really couldn't got myself to blog because I was really lazy to. But then again, in the past few days, I had quite a lot of inspiration to blog and a lot of things I wanted to say because I kind of went through a freaking out period (again) over my lack of CIP and attachments that I couldn't get. I'm still trying to convince myself that its ok not to have those stuff, I guess I wanted those because of the freaking portfolio which isn't so impt really, and do things that really make me "yea, I want to do this!" instead. These things stresses me out so much that I realised that its pointless to get stressed and white hairs over such stuff. But nevertheless, I had a great time the past two weeks, spending quality time with family.

Spain was quite nice although we had quite a hard time conversing there and things were quite different there. Its my first holiday in Europe and I saw a lot of hot guys and girls haha. Like every single person seems to look better, even the lady selling fruits in the market. Anyway, the plane ride there was nice, luckily got to upgrade, so the food was nice and I happily helped myself to all the courses, but there wasn't much movies to watch. We didn't stay in Barcelona though, we stayed in a little town an hour drive away, so we hopped around the different towns around, then we moved down to another port town for the second week. Shopped around a lot, I think I was addicted to shopping at Zara because I was getting agitated as I was unable to get something from there. But Pull and Bear seemed to like me more and I got quite a few stuff from there. The shopping were mostly around the streets instead of a shopping mall and it was really nice to walk along there and the weather was great. Went a few sightseeing areas, mostly cathedrals and the one in Barcelona has been in construction for the past hundred years and is still not completed yet! Then we watched this dinner and dance show with ballet, flamenco dance etc. Everything was expensive there, except the shopping which was slightly cheaper than in Singapore and the wines and beers that were damn cheap. But anyway, the holiday would have been better if my sis was there, but she couldn't take so much leave. I shall introduce more about spain when I upload the photos:)

2009-11-27T00:32:00.003+08:00

The past few days have been rather glued to the computer, because I found new websites that could watch every single TV episode (thanks khairiah!) and then I found GLEE.

I swear that was the worse addiction I ever got. Thank goodness there was only 10 episodes so far, if not I would be watching all of them in a day, which I almost did last sunday haha.

But anyway, it was a great show, a getaway from all the HK dramas that I was watching, and was certainly refreshing to me, watching english shows. Great music and dancing, not as cheesy as HSM, and of course some ec haha.

So I was watching Jon and Kate plus 8. Used to love them a lot and I have been watching them since 2 years ago although I did not follow every single episode because I used to watch on TV and it was like showing in 11 in the morning so of course cannot watch during school days. So I went to that website and found all the episodes there ever was. And I watched the last episode. I knew what happened to them through magazines and the entertainment news but I guess not many people reading this would know. It is sad, seeing how much Jon and Kate had gone through and this happened in the end. To be honest, I would definitely criticize Jon to the max and I really have a lot to say. I'm not really sure whose fault was it behind the divorce, but it is really not right for Jon to simply leave his family behind. After all, he has 8 kids and he cannot just say because he got married at 22 and spent the most of the 20's life parenting to make himself look sympathetic. I mean, Kate has sacrificed more than him definitely. But I guess strains in their relationship was definitely unavoidable when you have chaos and so many kids in their household. It is hard not to fight.

"We are a family, we're in this together" It irks me even more when he says that.

16 and pregnant was quite nice too, although half the time I was silently scolding the teen dads for their immaturity. But some some couples were really sweet yet I felt that they all were rather impractical to want to keep their baby considering the plight they were in. Only the last couple chose to give up their baby for adoption and that was the episode that really touched my heart.

Then I watched My sister's keeper, 2012 and Sweet Home Alabama. the first 2 were rather sad and touching, almost cried. And Sweet Home Alabama was romantic. They were all good shows:)

Anyway, the past few days I have been quite regretting that I chose to skip the OGL interview after all, after signing up and stuff, because I chose fencing over OGL. I guess I wanted OGL for the fun and glory. But after thinking now, I guess its ok that I'm not an OGL. So what if I am an OGL.

yup, so this will be my last post for the next 2 weeks because I'm going to Spain! haha! excited to take the plane after 1 year:) Shall update about my trip when I get back. See you!

2009-11-18T22:39:00.002+08:00

I swear I'm totally in love with Mr Brown.

I mean, what he write lah of course. It just brings so much fun and laughter when I get the irony that is haha. But seriously, he's quite accurate when it comes to criticising you-know-who haha. And, of course my friends can say that's my favourite topic too haha. I guess I am too brainwashed by my dad, but at least I'm not propoganda-ed by the SS textbooks.

Anyway, I was reading www.mrbrown.com and the articles he writes for inSing.com, and I really like some of them. Here's an extract from an article from from inSing.com regarding the APEC:

With so many heads of state and power people coming to Singapore for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) meetings, the critical question I am sure many Singaporeans are asking is, "Oi! When is the Nicoll Highway jam going to stop ah?"

The Nicoll Highway runs in front of Suntec City, where major APEC meetings are taking place and so it has become a bit of a traffic bottleneck when some lanes are closed at certain times of the day.

To their credit, the government has not closed off roads extensively and unlike the IMF/World Bank meetings the last time, Singaporeans don't feel like we are living in a caged prison trying to produce the required four million smiles.

Chinese President Hu Jintao, who is also attending these APEC meetings, announced that a pair of pandas will be coming to Singapore in 2011, as a symbol of strong ties between Singapore and China.

I wonder what animals China sends as symbols of average ties. A pair of random Chinese cows?

It must be fun to go around giving pandas to friends you like.

"Hey, UK, you and me are BFFs right? Here, have Chia Chia! In fact, take Ching-Ching too!"

Do note that the two Pandas of Peace are only on loan to Singapore for ten years. In other words, the pandas are not going to be citizens but just Permanent Residents. They may go back to China to march in the panda militia contingent of their National Day parade if they freakin' feel like it.

I feel we still have a lot to benefit from these Chinese PR pandas even if they do not plan to stay in Singapore permanently (I hear they plan to open a chain of Panda Express restaurants in America).

If they are Kung Fu Pandas, we can learn the secret ways of the No Shadow Kick. If they are your Garden Variety Pandas, perhaps they can teach OUR national animal, the Merlion, how to be cute and not throw up so much.

I am not sure what will happen if these Pandas of Diplomacy give birth while in Singapore. Will their offspring have to serve National Service? Or only their offspring's offspring?

I am not sure how it works but I am sure these Chinese PR Pandas will not be asked to do the combat stuff, being on the obese side. Maybe storeman or clerk.

2009-11-11T21:46:00.002+08:00

the past few days have been pretty busy.

The woman at Camy, the printing company that we are printing our packaging paper for GEW, was pretty anal and unfriendly. Almost died talking to her because she refused to answer my questions. Haha. But anw not that I care, as long as she delivers my papers by friday haha:)

Then, finally had a day where I could stay at home the whole day. But, sadly the stomache flu virus has to attack me then. So I spent the whole day sleeping and aching in bed haha:)

Oh yea, PW is finally ending. Want it to end soon, yet I know, once it ends, I wouldn't have a chance nor opportunity again. Feels kind of happy yet sad. I guess I have a love-hate relationship with it because it allows me to do something that I want to do, yet sometimes it scares me a lot.

2009-11-07T23:54:00.003+08:00

Ate at The Line yesterday! haha it was really great, no wonder so expensive. Didn't really gorge myself on oysters though...haha coz there was simply so much to try haha

Finally explored Tampines One today. Drank tea at this really cool tea cafe haha. The teas were damn nice and cool:)

Broke down today because of a really stupid thing. Because you guys were simply pushing me too far.

2009-11-02T01:13:00.002+08:00

After reading K's and E's blogs, realised they were pretty much talking the truth.

Yes, 09s43, what happened to the craziness?

I guess I'm part of the people who were crazy before and then got serious now.

Dunnoe why, maybe its the lack of time and more things on my mind.

Dunnoe why, but I just can't get the high me back. I tried, but it all just ended too soon.

I'm no longer that talkative. and I don't think its a good thing.

I thought it was good that the matchmakings were gone. But I didn't expect the laughter and craziness to go along with it.

2009-11-02T00:48:00.009+08:00

This post is going to get quite sensitive to religion so you don't have to read it if you don't want to. No offence to any religion, but I really have to get it off.

Grandma's going to get baptised this coming saturday.

And the question is: whether I should go?

She and my aunt have been asking me to go.

My sis is going, daddy refused to go, and mommy has something on.

So that leaves me.

On one side, I should go because I should give her support, after all she's my grandma.

But, I have my own principles.

I'm not against Christianity or against her being baptised, its just that I feel that she's not becoming one because she really believes in it or has faith in God.

She's a buddhist for her entire life and have been quite against it all the while. Maybe her illnesses really got better after she went to church, I'm not sure.

I just feel that she just keeps going because she has companions there, which should not be the real reason why she chooses to become a christian.

Maybe she feels better there.

Or that it might be she is just there because it heals her.

This is not what religion should be about. Adopting this religion should not be because of the benefits it gives you. Anyone can choose what religion you want to be, but you have to really have faith in it before you commit yourself to it.

I guess that's why I choose not to be such a religious person. I'm not against religion, its just that I don't follow too closely to it. It may or may not be a good thing. But I just do not want to commit to something blindly.

2009-10-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

Optimism. yes, that's the word.

reading A's blog really inspires me:)

2009-10-28T23:31:00.004+08:00

There's a friend that I used to be really close to and gossiped a lot to in lower sec and then she migrated to Australia. I lost contact with her ever since and I really miss her a lot. Dunnoe why but I sent her an email and left a message on her facebook but she never replied.

Maybe its me. I never seem to be able to keep in contact with my last time friends

but its ok, I guess it isn't too late to start now:)

2009-10-26T00:27:00.002+08:00

Got this from A's blog. Hope she doesn't mind, but it fits exactly what I wanted to say.

"And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you.

sometimes i am at a loss at what to do. i want to be a better friend, i really do.

but i'm not sure if anything i say is of any use.

then maybe i try to react in apathy. but i do care, after all."

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every time I see a friend feeling down, I just simply do not know what to do.

I'm afraid it'll make things worse.

Anw,on a brighter note, on the train today while on the way to fencing BBQ, I saw this mixed race family, father was caucasian, while the mother was a Singaporean Chinese. She was actually speaking chinese on the while to her 3/4 year old son. Felt heartened that there are still Singaporeans who try their best to speak chinese to their kids, especially this kid who's not even fully chinese.

2009-10-22T23:35:00.003+08:00

I was walking to the bus stop today, on my way to school around 11 plus.

And I saw something that I haven't saw for a long time.

I walked past the kindergarden, and it was bustling with parents/grandparents/maids picking the kids up from school. They were all holding umbrellas, carrying the kids bags and helping them wipe sweat etc.

It was about 13/14 years ago when I was there, wearing exactly the same blue dress that haven't changed over the years, and my aunt picked me up everyday after school. I didn't spend long in that kindergarden, but I could still remember some of the memories I had there. Some embarrassing stuff, now that I think of it haha.

Over the years I got busier, spending my time chasing after some things that now I think of it is quite meaningless. It made me achieve a lot more, I wanted it, yet I was constantly in pain and panicking over such stuff.

The past few months a lot of people have started talking to me about life, giving me advice, my tuition teacher, coach, my doctor, my cousin etc. It made me think through a lot. But it was great, remembering the times when I was young.

To my dearest friend

2009-10-18T02:11:00.002+08:00

Firstly, you are one of my bestest friend, and you will be forever.

After reading your post I now know why.

Its ok, its not your fault and I'm glad that you can "read my mind like a book" and understood what I was trying to say. (I was just being whiny at that time haha)

I felt touched at your post too, and I'm glad that you feel the same too.

I will not let go either and I hope to hear you play again:)

Love, no mole.

2009-10-18T01:56:00.002+08:00

Ignore the previous 2 posts, because it was just me being my whiny self haha.

(I should seriously stop whining haha)

Anw, had a thousand and 1 serious things to do today, but nothing was completed, woke up at 1130, and went out. Went on a shopping craze, bought $180 bucks worth of stuff at charles and keith (to get the membership haha) though i only watched my mom on a shoe craze coz half the time i was holding her 4 pairs of shoes and thinking whether to buy that bag haha. Bought it in the end, but it haven't really sunk in yet. Went Suntec and squeezed my way through the super crowded malaysia fair, and had a great time exploring the many coaches that the different companies offered with sis, but decided in the end to go ourselves which was much cheaper. Had thai food for dinner, ordered so much, but everything was too spicy for me to enjoy. But the cat incident really spiced up the whole dinner :) had a great time laughing haha

Did so many other things except what I had to do haha.

But finally had the chance to spend my time with my family after so long:)

2009-10-08T02:32:00.002+08:00

Saw a friend's blog and decided to blog about her, used to be close to her, but maybe not now.

Maybe if you are reading this, you might know its you.

I'm not really sure what she thinks but I really treasure this bond that we used to share. I feel quite bad that I cannot really help her out now. Even if she needs help, all I can do is ask her if she's alright and you know that I'm not good with words that comfort people.

Sometimes I wonder to myself, if friendships are so painstakingly built up, why should they be allowed to wither? I don't know if what I'm doing is enough to keep this friendship going but I hoped that she could have done more. I don't blame her for not doing enough as I know that she's busy but I just wish for a little more. Maybe its because I can't find a confidante like you now and I really need someone to talk to. Maybe its because I've changed.

2009-10-08T02:04:00.002+08:00

Haha decided to just post again...after a super long hiatus.

I didn't blog because I was really busy the past few months, which zoomed past, and that I couldn't really find a blogging style that suited me. but now that I started again, I wonder who's going to read it haha. But nevertheless, I'm just going to start blogging and keep to it haha

Anw, now that promos are over, there's a lot of time for me to really sit down and think about stuff. Khairiah and Drina would probably say I'm brooding about stuff, but really, I just need to rethink about my life. The past few years I have always planned out my life really well, like intending to go this school, take this course, take this job up and get married at 30 and be a yummy mummy and etc. But I looked around and saw people who didn't exactly planned out their lives and actually took a step at a time, and they are actually enjoying themselves. Some people told me stuff that really got me thinking. Here I was, trying hard to fulfill my goals and in the midst, I realised that maybe I'm not exactly suited to do what I wanted to do. I wanted those goals because I thought it would make me happy and of course have a comfortable life. Like getting into med school and becoming a doctor. Now that I ask myself, I don't even know why I wanted to be a doctor. I had a reason but is this the real reason or something that i convinced myself to believe? Moreover, I'm not even mentally strong enough to be a doctor, and I really do not think that I would have the passion to continue with it for at least 10 years. Would I neglect my family because of the time consuming job that comes with it?

I've been thinking for quite some time what I should do if I don't choose to study medicine but I couldn't come up with something that really interests me. I would just laugh at myself if I ever end up in the teaching profession haha.

2009-05-13T21:16:00.002+08:00

disappointment.

that's what i got today.

i guess i expected too much of myself and i expected to get in.

maybe i was wrong,

this is the 2nd time, maybe there is something wrong about me.

maybe i wasn't what they were looking for.

its kind of a shock.quite a big one.

yes,i'm disappointed, but there's nothing i can do now.

maybe this year is not a good year for me, i keep getting rejected.

a lot of maybes, but i dun have the answer.

i guess i shall do more cip and stuff, join the youthbank, join the youthchallenge.

yes, i shall make those my new goals.

its ok. i keep telling myself.

but i wanted it so badly.

but issit really ok?

i need some time to think it over.

2009-03-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

its the school holidays so far and i have no CCAs or anything so far.

it feels really weird to be so free during the holis even though i have like 2 ccas

damnit i feel damn slack

sch holis last time was always filled with hmwk and band pracs

and now i'm like slacking away my time at home

i guess i had a too active life in sec sch so now that i'm not in any busy ccas, it feels really really weird.

i want to make my life more busy and filled with other stuff other than studying but there's nothing much i can do.

was it a wrong choice not to join band?

everyone around me seems to have a lot of things going on.

im afraid.

2009-03-11T20:39:00.002+08:00

haha yes its been a long long time since i updated!

according to tracy i should update haha

but anw...

the past 2 months have been rather hectic and unsettling.

first was the results...den the choice of school...den the school that i got in...den whether i should appeal...den wad CCA to join etc..

there were just so many choices to make

at the end of the day, i'm glad that i made some correct choices

firstly, i'm happy that i didn't appeal into Rj coz i'm really happy in Vj..with new friends etc.

but maybe that's becoz i was never in Rj so i didn't really know how it would be like to be in there...it could be better den life in Vj now but i shan't think abt it coz wad's happened have already happened.

i really like Vj...i've always wanted to go there since like 2 years ago but until the results came out and Rj was put into consideration because i wanted to go the same school as mole. She wanted me to go Rj but there was simply too many insecurities i had in that school. Hence i put Rj as first choice but in the end i got into Vj instead. to tell the truth...i was quite shocked that i got in Vj but there was a tiny part of me that was happy that i got in. Maybe during the 2 weeks in between results release and sch posting results i had mentally prepared myself to go Rj that made me want to go Rj. But thinking back now...i dun really want to go Rj. afterall, i had mentally prepared myself for Vj for the past 2 years.

Secondly, was the choice of CCA. i guess there was this silent battle within myself whether i should join band again. many reasons i want to and many reasons i dun want to that i shan't disclose it here. BUT nevertheless i still love band a lot...and i really miss it a lot..whenever i see the Vjcsb ppl practising there would always be a sense of nostalgia.

i guess i had pinned all my hopes on getting into CT council that i didn't really make plans in the case that i didn't get in. i dun know why...probably i screwed the interview up but i guess that's not really up to me...so now...i'm joining my school's fencing and quitting my external fencing and trying to get into interact club. haha i'm like damn slack so i shall do more CIPs in the next 2 years haha

Anw...CSB's syf is on the 3rd april. haha reminds me of 2 years ago...a lot of great memories and it was definitely a great experience. i hope they treat it importantly and treasure the opportunity.

And, on the same day...i'm having my grade 8 piano exam. yes haha stress. i dunnoe whether i can even make it for their SYF in case i need to practice a lot.

on 3rd april, we're all going to be fighting a battle. for wad we really want.

u all want the gold and i want to at least get a merit.

we've practised hard the past 2 years and we definitely dun want our efforts to go wasted.

i know its difficult but i believe u all can do it. U've come a great way since 2 years ago and u all are carrying the hopes of all of us seniors. To have the chance to achieve wad we aren't able to.

But i don't expect u all to push yourselves to hard. I just want u all to put in your best effort and put your heart into it.

We're cedar band. We are not afraid to set our expectations high. Even if u all fail to achieve, don't be demoralized. Stand up strong and pass on the strength to the next batch so that they can make a comeback to our former glory.

2009-01-05T22:42:00.005+08:00

ere are the photos from the australia trip:)

not a lot of sightseeing.. nor fun coz adelaide is such a dead place haha

but got 2 huge shopping malls so we just spent days there and days watching moonlight resonance haha

2009-01-05T22:33:00.002+08:00

springcleaning.

that word scares me enough already.

2009-01-02T16:39:00.002+08:00

hello! i'm back and was lazy to blog so i didn't until i decided that today is a new year and tiffany shall no longer be lazy haha

anw... japan trip went quite well but was spoilt by someone but i guess its officially 2009 so i shall put aside whatever grudges i had

yup...den i went adelaide for my sister's convocation. haha adelaide is such a boring place that we spent most of the time in the hotel watching moonlight resonance episode after episode until 1 plus. coz its like dvd so there are like 14 episodes in one disc so it just keeps playing and we were all glued to the screen haha

so on monday it was my birthday! went wild wild wet with the clique and enjoyed myself thoroughly. haha they bought me a set of bikini and gave me a super huge card with my big face plastered on it as present :D

to clique: thanks for being there to celebrate for me and for organising this party:) i had the sweetest 16th every haha!

den on tuesday, went settlers with qiulin, annette and roslyn. finally a chance to catch up with them, esp qiulin haha. she never quite changed... still the same crazy and a little insane qiulin haha. we kept changing games until i think the person was a bit irritated at us haha

anw... now's new year and i guess i shall have a few resolutions though i think i would not complete most of them haha

- practice harder for piano and pass grade 8

- train harder at fencing and remember the godamn steps ...and do not ever faint again.haha

- save money!

- study hard

- lose weight and stop giving myself the excuse that i can eat more after each fencing lesson

- be more active.. like exercise, doing CIP etc.

- keep contact with all my sec and pri sch friends

- bond with cousins more often before they all disappear to adelaide haha

2008-12-13T10:25:00.001+08:00

hello! had a great time in japan! although it was sometimes spoilt by a certain someone.

but nevertheless, i enjoyed myself:)

i shall blog abt it later:)

off to Australia now!!:))

2008-11-22T17:26:00.002+08:00

well. i never guessed it would be this hard. i thought i was supposed to have fun.

i did. but its just that i suffered more after this fun

i know it costs really a lot. and i must continue since i made the choice to start it in the first place.

the road ahead of me is not easy. but i guess i just have to bear and grin with it.

that's the only way if i wanna be good at it.

anw, a couple of things made me really mad during band.

i felt really horrible coz my efforts weren't appreciated.

but i guess i shall not talk abt it anymore. thinking abt those stuff would just make me feel even worse.

i shall just look on the positive side and look forward to japan:)

2008-11-04T20:18:00.001+08:00

thoughts of fencing, baking, holidaying, plans keep flooding into my mind

how?

2008-10-19T10:28:00.003+08:00

2008-10-09T11:49:00.002+08:00

gosh.when i grow old, i wanna age like Carina Lau. She's such a glamour puss:)

haha my blog is so dead:)

2008-09-30T14:49:00.002+08:00

i was reading 8 days and it was the name calling issue and its damn funny

its saying how celebrities name their kids funny names and how ppl from a certain country name themselves haha!

so here are some of the funny names that are real, like really real:

1)Mosquito leung!

2) Fungus Kok!

3) Pussy Pu

4) Pubic Har

5) Diva Thin Muffin Pigneen Zappa [ her dad said coz she screamed the loudest as a baby]

6) ABCD [ say ab-sody]

7] Fee Bee [instead of phoebe!]

8] Tahula Does the Hula From Hawaii!

9] Number 16 Bus Shelter [where the baby was conceived?]

10] Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lil

Cop_P_cat, chlorophyll, circumference etc.!

gosh, i can't even imagine ppl calling me rosemary of something haha [that was wad my sis wanted to call me, rosemary wong, luckily my parents were in their right minds not to give in to a 5 year old haha!]

2008-09-21T17:01:00.002+08:00

gosh,i haven't blogged in like a long long time!

official excuse: i'm supposed to be mugging

real reason: i'm a big fat lazy bum refusing to switch on my computer to go online despite it being 10cm away.:)

anw, o levels are starting in exactly 4 weeks time and my wheel is hardly moving.

yea, and the whole world is moving but me:)

anw, i really can't wait for the exams to be over.

coz i got 10 things on my itinerary:

1) SHOPPING. yes shopping! even the word itself makes me wanna jump:) come to think of it, i haven't gone shopping for like weeks! and after the exams, got the zara annual sales:)))

2) learn a sport. like fencing although its just pokking ur opponent and all haha. yea then i shall train really hard and den join YOG in 2010 and london olympics in 2012 and merri and tracy shall go support me:) haha, that's just lame daydreaming

3) catch up with my friends, lower sec friends, primary sch friends, clique etc. coz i haven't been going out for a long time

4) catch up with my cousins, well those that are still in singapore before they all disappear to adelaide and leave me here:(

5) go to the beach! yes, suntanning and beachball etc. i'm currently searching for a nice pair of sunglasses for me to wear:) den i shall go get a sunhat too. but den, singapore's beaches are too dirty maybe except sentosa one so i shall go to australia's beaches and play there coz the beaches there are damn gorgeous:) and at the same time catch clams and cook sambal clams:))

6) Rent all the recent tvb dramas and overgorge myself with cantonese:)

7) GO JAPAN! yes, disneyland and i did a search too and realised that this nagashima spaland that we're going is one of the biggest theme parks in japan!:)

8)GO ADELAIDE!!gosh, i can't wait to see my sister and attend her convocation:) of course, the beaches!!and the oyster shop selling all types of oysters, baked, cooked, fresh etc. that got me head over heels with oysters!

9) pack my junk and throw out whatever things that i've been keeping for the last 16 years.

10) attend a pottery class or something like that on the arty side. i've been saying this every december holiday for the last 4 years but haven't got down to really doing it.

but. i only got like 2 months plus, which is really little considering the fact that i would be spending almost my entire december doing no. 7 and 8.

maybe i should just stop daydreaming and get back to alkanes and alkenes haha:)

2008-09-13T14:10:00.002+08:00

i went to watch the charity gala premiere of mama mia on wed and it was damn funny

it was almost the same as the musical one i watched in las vegas except that the faces were much bigger this time haha

anw, i thought that meryl streep and pierce bosnan totally spoilt their image coz after seeing the devil wears prada and getting the icy queen image, she danced and acted like a 17 year old with raging hormones haha! i thought i looked kinda weird. and than that james bond guy started singing with frilly constumes , which was soo not james bondish haha!

2008-09-02T00:56:00.003+08:00

gosh. i ought to be sleeping now so that i can wake up to mug. haha but no, i'm suffering from insomia so that i can wake up in the morning and start sleeping 2 hours later.wth, i'm screaming silently like a crow impaled on the tears of the sun. haha yes, i got that from ms xie:)

anw, u probably dun understand wad i'm saying coz i'm just crapping out. but i shall get serious.

i was doing some random thinking just now, and i started to think about my sister.

i dun really talk abt her, and i guess its time i open up .

i miss her.

i dun show it but deep in my heart, i do.

when she first left, i was only 12. i didn't know how to react, how to actually love someone.

but as time passed, i started to yearn for someone i could share my joy with and someone i could confide in.

i know, she probably still holds it against me for wad i have done when i was younger, but i was den rash, immature and reckless.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry to have made u feel that way.

i wish i could have done something to make u feel better but i didn't.

i miss u.

2008-08-31T21:21:00.003+08:00

took these after last exam on monday. we were supposed to buy teachers' day presents but ended up chasing the team singpore haha

clique photo! (except may lim)

tao li looks scary here haha

me n mole:)

merri acting cool haha

2008-08-30T22:21:00.002+08:00

the prelims were over abt a week ago.

there were some unexpected news and some news that inspired me even further to follow what i really want to do, even though its really hard to achieve that.

i know it sounds really childish, like what all primary 1 kids say

but yes, i want to get into NUS medicine.

after seeing my mom's episode in the A&E, i guess i was inspired by that certain A&E doctor who was damn cool.

it doesn't take much to dream, but it takes loads to achieve.

it just depends on how badly i want it

and i'm prepared to give it my all.

anw, i really need to start studying again after playing daily for the entire past week

if only i can peel myself away from the tv haha:]

2008-08-21T20:47:00.003+08:00

oh, i forgot to talk abt the olympics! yes i was practically glued to the tv watching all the live matches and i think i was on tv marathon rather den studying marathon haha. i guess if the entire sec 4 cohort does badly for prelims, it because of the all too addictive olympics haha!

anw it was great to see singapore win our first silver medal in like dunnoe how many years and the commentor on the final match between china n singapore was damn funny. haha, where got ppl comment like that one! but nevertheless, they put up a great fight. i was trying to study geog and sneaking glances at the same time so i hope i didn't flunk geog haha

yes,and michael phelps. i read this article saying that the other swimmers aren't bad and the writer said that its just that there's a monster lurking in the water cube called The Phelps that's y others can't win haha!

the gymnasts were great too! i saw them jumping on the beam and doing those somersaults in the air and still land on the beam, and still looking graceful. hah, i can't even balance on that beam even it was on the floor when i tried in sec 1 and they could still jump and land haha! i feel a tinge of jealousy coz they're like around my age and they're are winning gold medals while i am still lying around in my misery studying for God knows wad. maybe i should go uncover my hidden talent, that is if i have haha!

2008-08-21T20:15:00.003+08:00

growing old scares me. really. not because of vanity but because of the diseases that come with me. esp after seeing my dad having this hemifacial spasm thing n having to undergo a brain operation to correct it. its not the operation that freaks me out but i've never seen my dad being so weak before and cannot even walk or talk properly though he's perfectly fine in the mind. well, he's the man of the house, the only man in fact, and the father that i've known is the strongest one, the one who solves everything and takes care of everything. but he's getting better by day, and that's all i ask for.

but anw, being young is good coz u can be irresponsible and do stoopid things that no one will ever blame u for and den laugh it off when u think abt it years later:)

anyway, i can't wait to go japan. i dun even mind the fact that the faster japan comes, the faster o's come haha. n once o's are over, den i can catch up with my lower sec and primary sch friends, ppl i haven't really talked to in ages:) i think its exciting to see how everyone's lives have became and we used to joke abt each other being our kids godma haha. being young reminds me that we do not need to think deep into things partly because we didn't learn lit and we could just eat hello pandas without worrying how much calories that would add to our bodies!

anw, a week before the start of prelims, i went with my mom to this down syndrome association charity gala dinner at some posh hotel. den there was this fashion show and all the models were like thin, tall and er gaunt. they were just like skin and bones but they were very tall...gosh, if only i had those legs! n i dun have to feel like a dwarf when standing next to sam and madeline at the same time. and hugging giants haha:))but i wore my mom's heels that day and i was taller like by 3 inches so it wasn't that bad haha

yea den i met eunice oslen there but she wasn't as pretty as i thought she would be. yes, makeup deceives ppl but it hides ur flaws so i still love it. haha

yes, one more chem mcq to go on monday. can't they put it tmr den i'll be free for the weekend to go shopping haha!:))

2008-07-23T19:19:00.002+08:00

8 Days had this article on Tokyo and where to get the best bargains for food and shopping, n i can't wait to go there end of the year coz it would be so fun n den o levels would be over too haha
anw, so they had this canon lucky draw to win a camera and i submitted and below my personal info, i hinted[not required] that i would be going tokyo end of the year so it would be better if i had that camera haha! hope the 8 DAYS team laugh it off and send me a camera with their well wishes:]

yea, and monday was racial harmony day and i decided not to wear a sari after disgracefully lugging around my half dropped sari for the entire day last year haha so i bought a cheongsam in malacca over the weekend instead. but it was kinda translucent and i accidentally wore the wrong bra so the whole world could see my pinkies haha:] den my mom shoes were kinda big so it was so difficult to walk in them and i ended up with blisters all over my toes haha.but that sacrifice was worth it coz i got to be taller for a day and breathed hotter air haha!

anw so over the weekend i went malacca but half the time i stayed in the hotel room coz i lugged my hmwk there. but the room was so comfortable coz my parents got the equator club room which was much bigger with a huge bathroom where i could cosy up to haha. den my mom kinda sneaked me into the spa but i ended up almost cooked. but it was a good trip!:]

2008-07-13T22:11:00.002+08:00

out of excitment yesterday, i kinda missed out some parts i wanted to say

anw, i wanna say a big THANK YOU to Ms Sia and Mr Ong who loved us so much that he came every band prac although he was not required to. no amt of words can express how grateful we are to them. they pulled us up from a silver band and improved us so much. although we are still a silver band in last year's syf, we definitely improved tremendously. although u both had scolded us countless of times but they're all worth it in the end. without both of your help, we would have never gotten a gold, much less say GOLD WITH DISTINCTION.this might only be nbc, ad 3rd division, but getting a gold would definitely pull the band's morale up and make us even more motivated to get the GOLD for next year's syf. although i would not be able to play with the band next year, i wish CSB all the best and achieve what we were never able to achieve before! jiayou!:]

anw, i should have stayed longer at vch instead of rushing home. at least i could prolong the period of celebration. and also see tkgs perform!:]heard they were really great! and give support to marianne!:]

i hope st nicks got top in their division too! den ms sia would be one of the best conductors in singapore! coz then her bands all got 1st [us]or 2nd [tkgs] in all the divisions!

all the best to Meridian jc too! hope u guys get 1st too:]

anw, i'm too excited to study for chem test tmr. yup, so i'm super dead coz i haven't started studying yet!

2008-07-12T20:54:00.002+08:00

yesterday was the most hectic day of my life coz i packed my schedue until i almost had no time to breathe. but. that's not the main purpose of this post. coz something even better happened!

i think this is one of my proudest moments with csb and this moment will last forever.

i'm glad i took this sacrifice and i'm not regretting any single minute of it.

anw, i've yet to say what we got haha so here it is:

WE GOT GOLD WITH DISTINCTION &

FIRST IN DIVISION!!!!

so when we heard the percentage, me n celine started getting all crazy n jumped for joy:)

den when we heard that hwa chong didn't get higher than us den we started to cheer too coz we were afraid of not getting first haha

n we rocked vch with our csb cheer:)

really, i've never felt so happy and proud of the band in all my four years

i wanted it to end with a big bang and it ended with a bigger bang than i expected!

I'M PROUD OF YOU CSB! CONTINUE TO WORK HARD AND DO US PROUD IN SYF 2009!!!:]

2008-07-07T10:55:00.002+08:00

oh btw. i finally got ecilpse long ago:]

n i just pre-ordered breaking dawn!:]

bio tuition's not for bio.

its for people watching haha

we make the best kaypohs in the world!:]

2008-07-07T10:42:00.002+08:00

"MUMMY!IT'S OVER!"

haha yes. i should be happy. but somehow, i don't feel the tingling of happiness. yet all i feel is nostalgia.

maybe i expected too much from myself and gave myself too perfect role models that make me even more disappointed when i couldn't reach the goals i set for myself.

it feels weird. i just need time to adapt and see myself in this new situation

its out of my usual routine and soon it would be even more out of my routine.

i want to fly but my wings are not letting me. i just need the extra burst of energy to break free and fly where my heart brings me.

2008-06-28T20:14:00.003+08:00

damnit. i feel so guilty when i see my parents spending so much money on me

i shall scrimp and save for the next few months.

anw. yes, we have stepped down already

the journey was tough, but i've learnt a lot and enjoyed myself.

i'm proud to say that i've came out stronger and better than before

and that i believe that i have passed on the baton to capable leaders who really love the band.

anw, i know u all are tired of hearing this sentence "do u want the GOLD?"

its repetitive and doesn't really serve the impact of motivating

but more importantly is that as long as we believe in ourselves, we have nothing to fear

who says silver bands are always silver? and that other bands who have gotten more golds than us will always beat us?yes, they are more experienced than us and they will always be but experience does not always mean the best.

but at the same time, we cannot afford to be complacent that we will definitely get the gold

just because its easy doesn't mean its a guaranteed one.

yes, its definitely not hard and getting a gold is achievable but of course it comes with a bit of hard work

i'm sure u all understand this

at the end of the day we want to say that:

we earned the gold through our effort and not because we were lucky

we earned the gold because we believed in ourselves

we earned the gold and we definitely learnt a lot in the process

we earned the gold and we came out as a better and even more bonded band

even if we didn't earn the gold, as long as we know that we put in our hard work, we know that we have achieved the GOLD IN OUR HEARTS.

2008-06-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

i just realised that online shopping is kinda cheaper than when u actually go out and buy.

but the down side is, i can't try it on to see if it looks good on me or the size fits

haha i twisting my fingers really hard, hopping that the next albert einstein or bill gates will go improve on the internet and computer such that its 3D-fied and the shirt or dress virtually pops out of the screen so that i can try it on before buying

anw, i just came back from the mango sale and they're mad to think that ppl will go steal their clothes or something coz they're tying up everyone's bags and stuff hah.

2008-06-18T22:19:00.003+08:00

yes, i'm sorry for wad i did.

hope u're no longer angry at me.

smile?:)

2008-06-17T20:45:00.002+08:00

whenever i go to my mom's office then i always see this bunch of air stewardess-in-training.

i see their neat hairdos, perfect made-up faces and then there i see it, never ending pair of legs that can not be any slimmer.

yes, i'm quite envious of their long n skinny legs coz i was never blessed with one pair though my dad is kinda tall. but i realised that being short isn't that bad afterall because:

1. u never have to bend down when entering doors and trains and buses

2. u do not have to look down on ppl [literally]

3. u can always get away with buying child tickets [save money!] or kid meals!

4. u can always bluff ur way through into those kiddy rides that have height restriction and enjoy childhood again

5. u don't have to worry about bumping into those overhanging lamps

6. u can wear the highest and most fashionable jimmy choos in the world without fearing that u might be taller than ur other half [poor katie holmes!]

7. u will never feel hot! [hot air rises, cool air sinks]

8. u can buy smaller sized clothes coz its cheaper with less cloth

9. u can wear a long shirt and pretend its a dress [looking chic!]

10. u have lots of space to roll around on the bed without rolling down

...

and the list goes on..

bottom line is, being short is not that bad.its just not that good as being TALL. haha

anw, a random thought:

i just remembered towards the end of last year,

i treated someone to a holiday using my own pocket money

i can't believe i actually gullibly handed over 50 plus bucks just to pay for someone else's mistake

and it had nothing to do with me yet i paid for it

wth was i thinking?

anw, to all the band members reading this:

Jiayou! its only one more month to go, and we should all the more continue to work hard

we aren't there yet but i believe that we can reach there, its only whether we want or not.

put you heart and soul into it, and your efforts will definitely be worth it

play with passion and enthusiasm and we can all achieve the GOLD in our hearts!

2008-06-13T21:50:00.002+08:00

hmm. i just came back from a durian buffet

got food lah but there were just so many durian desserts and durian fruit but i didn't eat much coz i was busy gorging myself with oysters coz i haven't eaten a single one since i took the hep A and B jab which was so painful so wth i must at least eat some oysters after taking so many injections haha

damn it. the shopping malls are crying out for me. but i haven't done much work during the holis so must stay at home n mug tmr.

oh well.. there's another 1 more month for me:)

2008-06-11T20:20:00.003+08:00

a random thought:

i'm disappointed that you dun even take it seriously

it even looks like you have given up all hope on us and couldn't even care less

den, you treated mole badly, making her feel so humiliated.

sometimes it makes me really wonder, this is so impt to me yet you dun even feel a thing coz you have so many to play around with anw.

don't you know how much it matters to us ?

am i taking the right risk?

so wad if you're so successful? it just makes you even more insensitive.

2008-06-04T10:23:00.002+08:00

after reading livia's blog, i'm seriously considering online shopping coz of the GSS, everything is so crowded, including Zara, which has no sale. so after 3 consecutive weekends combing the shopping malls [actually only vivo n square2], i spent about 250 in total but i didn't buy much things coz all the cheap things on sale weren't nice so ended up i bought things that were on sale but more expensive. and then there was the crowd, which totally crushed my shopping mood. seeing so many ppl just cannot shop coz everyone is like rushing here rushing there, but shopping must slowly take time.

yes, i should have started online shopping earlier, where i can take my own sweet time haha.

anw, samuel, u can come to be for advice haha. n it would always be good and positive advice:)

2008-06-02T22:52:00.001+08:00

i shall aim really hard to finish all my hmwk by this week and start sudying next week

n ppl around me are all scaring me when they take out their books and start studying every free minute

i just need to stop procrastinating.

btw, breaking dawn's coming out!

n i've yet to buy the soft cover ecilpse coz they haven't release.

2008-06-01T19:36:00.002+08:00

i've made my choice. but i'm not sure if i made the right one

yes, speech day wasn't a good ending and it was just like that, no fireworks, nothing.

after almost 4 years and all the effort and heart i put into band, i want to end with a big bang. maybe this bang would not be huge, but at least it is the best i can give myself.

this might affect my studies but rejecting this opportunity would not be because of my studies but i want to know that this risk i'm taking and the hard work i'm going to put in is worth it.

i just crave for a little more.

2008-05-26T19:35:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LELONG QUEEN!

MAY U HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER COZ WE'RE HERE HAHA

& HOPE U ENJOY EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT, AND LEAVE THIS MEMORY LINGERING IN YOUR STORAGE BANK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

HOPE U ENJOY SUPERBEAR TOO AND DUN LET IT BURST COZ ITS TOO FAT:]

2008-05-25T16:46:00.002+08:00

yesterday was shopping day!

went with sprite! realised that it was the first time we went out together despite knowing each other for 3 years le!

anw, sprite was such a late person that she arrived half an hour late n i had to wait for her

n when she finally arrived, we combed the whole of vivo together

n being lousy shoppers, we lost our stamina by 3 plus haha

n sat outside, staring at the crystal jade ppl eating n wondering how nice it would be if we had food coz we spent almost every single cent we had in our wallets except for $1.65

i think we went mad n tried on every single piece of clothing in the shops n we spent so much!

den myphosis had a mad sale with everything either 50 or 70% off! we almost suffocated in there while jostling with the other shoppers who were also going crazy, grabbing everything they could find!

anw, it was a good trip!:)

2008-05-23T19:37:00.002+08:00

hey! haven't been blogging for the past 2 weeks coz it was simply hectic.

so last wed was band phototaking and luckily it rained if not i would have simply melted in the blazer:)

den wed night was the choir concert. i didn't intend to go but on tues night, i called annette n she thought i was going but when i told her i wasn't, she sounded sad so i felt guilty n decided to go. so i pulled queenie along and called sistic right after band. they told us had 3 tickets left so we were trying to beg the person to let us reserve it but she said need credit card no. so we rushed down to esplanade. so while on the way we were super scared that the 3 tickets would be sold so we kept calling sistic to make sure the tickets were still there n we planned who to run first to the sistic booth when we arrived. haha it was simply hilarious. it felt like i was taking part in amazing race. luckily, the 3 tickets were still there ! so choir full house must thank us coz we bought the last tickets haha

after the concert, i met peirong! so we kinda bitched about zhijie haha. i'm really surprised she became like this. she was a bit like that when she was still in cedar because she kept reminding us she was not our friend, she was senior. but i didn't expect her to become worse then that!

On friday, we had class phototaking. luckily i didn't need to sit down coz sec 4 year cannot sit down if not so embarrassing coz i've got lower ears den others haha

den we had the photographer take us from the second floor with us making an A shape so i was part of the middle link thing. huijun suggested everyone do the spastic smile so i did n i realised not everyone did so i think it was kinda funny. so we had to bend our legs if not behind ppl cannot be seen so later the photo turns out with our butts sticking out haha

On saturday, went shopping with my mum at vivocity! there were some pre GSS sales so i bought quite a lot haha. had a great lunch with my mum coz we were chatting n catching up.

On this wed, went for the Vj band concert. they were really good. i mean like they are the top 3 jc bands with gold with honours so they have to be really good! met a lot of ex seniors there. gillian so act cute, tie two plaits haha. anw she got us quite good seats except that it was at the side so we had to turn our heads like half the time. i was persuading mole to go like mad until my saliva dry up but her mom didn't let her. BUT in the end her friend got an extra ticket which she gave mole for free so mole turned up in the end haha. the saxophone soloist was damn pro n gillian said now he got fan club so i'm currently persuading mole to go join haha. anw den we met JING JUN. FINALLY. so i was trying to tell him that 1/4 of 4A was looking for him den he thought i was some mad woman coz he didn't even know me. but who cares. as long as 1/4 of 4A knows him haha

anw, now i really want to go Vj n join the band:)

den on thursday, we received our report books. me n sprite realised that our comments were like almost the same,only change some words haha

n i'm really surprised at my class n level position. i was totally lost for words n smiling like mad throughout SEL haha

den during band, the teachers interviewed the understudies n we got a vague idea who we were going to choose so we decided to change their groupings to make sure.anw, i hope we made the right choice.

so today was the cross country. me n mole decided to aim for like top hundred and get the badge coz it was our last year n at the same time gain points for the class

so we were like "ok. get like 70 something enough already coz got so many pro ppl."

BUT in the end we got like top 50! i can't believe we actually made it! haha we did it together mole!!! really grateful coz mole was encouraging me all the way, if not i would have given up:)

den after cross country, we went to century square n ate lunch n decided to look for our clique identity. but we couldn't decide on what to buy. we should just all buy the same bra den after PE all strip together to show our bras haha!

den we went into times n got 30% discount for members. so i saw The Host n decided to buy so i saved like 9 bucks coz tracy got the member card :) it was a damn good buy!

n i can't wait for tmr!! i'm finally going out with sprite on a shopping trip! just nice GSS just started so we can shop till mad haha!

anw, i've decided to take part in nbc. n even if i change my mind, its not because of my studies. its because of some other reason.

2008-05-06T22:09:00.002+08:00

MYEs are over.

but that just brings us one step closer to the big Os.

so on monday, after physics exam, me, png mole and sherry stayed back for band

den they had sectionals so i caught up with my section:) but i think i was distracting them half the time den they couldn't teach the sec 1s haha

den i was constantly trying to switch off azel's phone coz she kept using it haha

anw, today i met up with png mole at hougang mall

n we were super efficient and bought may na's present, wee gui's present and my mother's day gift in like 1 hour plus

n even had time to go library to borrow books:)

anw i bought my mom a super cute thing that can hang necklaces and stuff, and a pair of earrings:) hopes she likes it and forgets the album that i was suppose to do n give her for mother's day 07, which is currently sitting in my cupboard collecting dust haha

moses should just propose to bernice faster!!!:)))

2008-05-03T13:57:00.002+08:00

i can't stand it when my parents come home from work n they ask how was my exams

den i would say "ok lah"

den the immediate response would be "so, sure hundred arh"

i know they have high hopes on me but their daughter isn't some genius unless i'm called Tiffany Einstein or something.

anw, Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella really rocks. esp the twist at the end:)

2008-05-02T19:02:00.002+08:00

hmm.it feels weird to see the sec 3s taking charge. it seems like just yesterday when we were understudies (yes,i noe it sounds cliche) .n now i feel what's really to be out of the band. technically we've not stepped down, but we dun play with the band anymore. n speaking of that, i still haven't quite made up my mind abt whether or not to join NBC .mabye i will, maybe i won't , i just dun want to rush like mad for prelims like what i did for MYEs. but den again, i feel like i didn't finish band nicely, without a bang, n i think NBC would really leave great memories for me.

band has become such a routine in my life that it feels weird without going for band , n it feels weird to really see myself no longer being in charge.

i rmb the first day of band when i got so scared of the seniors n Sir,

I rmr how i was one of the last without an instrument and comtemplating between euphonium or percussion but hannah t chose euphonium so that i could take percussion instead [thanks hannah:)],

I rmb how i got the shock of my life when i realised i've got a senior called tiffany wong too,

I rmb how the seniors used to scold us for crossing our legs and talking while Sir was teaching,

I rmb the drills sessions that the sec 4s seniors gave us n how scarily they scolded us,

I rmb the day yong en transferred me n beatrice to 2nd trumpet n made me sit between Zhi Jie and Suzanne,

I rmb my first performance, the sec 1 induction,

I rmb when we went Johore for the exchange programme, how long we waited for the GOH n how hot it was, n also the shopping trip with my dear seniors, Zhi jie, Becky, Thilanga, Peirong and of course queenie the qi ni.haha,

I rmb how suzanne used to freak me out with her 'ni ai wo mah'

I rmb during the first NBC, my first competition that i took part in, how afraid i felt, how i rmb ms sia asking me to smile n walk straight into VCH,

I rmb the times i spent chatting with peirong during sectionals abt idol dramas,

I rmb the SYF period when Ms sia insisted we adjust the aircon to 16 degrees ,n i was sitting right under it so i got really numb n cold n always wrapped in the super huge cedar jacket,

I rmb how united the band was during that period n we were almost too happy to come for extra practices,

I rmb SYF when i was so shocked to see the band moving so lively during Yiddish dances and that Ms Sia smiled at us after our performance,

I rmb 50th anniversary when we donned our super short skirts and suspenders, and danced to the rock n roll,

I rmb how we understudies worked hard together and slept at 2 plus just to finish proposals and reflections,

I rmb how late Yu xin, Rena and png mole stayed at my house just to finish the proposal,

i rmb speech day o8 when it was the sec 4s last performance.

the list looks long, but the ending isn't great.

To Amirah, thanks for making sectionals fun n interesting and always sharing the gossips with me, i'm sorry if i neglected u in the past year,

To Beatrice, u've been a great SL n u'll soon be the last SL haha

To Yu Xin, thanks for being there for me all the time and eating lunch with me before band prac in sec 1 and 2. n even now, after band when we share fries and popcorn chicken n bubble tea at the busstops

To Cathlin, thanks for being my Other Half and supporting me all the time

To Azel, u'll always be my daughter:)

To Queenie, for being so noisy and just being yourself haha:)

To Jia Yee, dun stress yourself up too much, just relax:)

finally to a certain 3 ppl, u've been the most impt ppl in my band life, n i just wanna say thank you for always cheering me up n helping me.

2008-04-30T18:21:00.004+08:00

its so ironic.just after i write that den i received an email telling me to control my anger haha. n its the last line that's most impt.

How to hold your temper

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. (Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails

and told him that every time he lost his

temper, he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence.

The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily

gradually dwindled down. He discovered
it was easier to hold his temper than to

drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't

lose his temper at all. He told his father

about it and the father suggested that the

boy now pull out one nail for each day that he

was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally

able to tell his father that all the nails
were gone. The father took his son by the

hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You

have done well, my son, but look at the

holes in the fence. The fence will never be

the same. When you say things in anger,

they leave a scar just like this one. You can put

a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm

sorry', the wound is still there. A verbal

wound is as bad as a physical one.

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.

Therefore,if someone tries to make you angry,control your temper and just walk away!It's that simple!:)

2008-04-30T17:51:00.002+08:00

i tired.physically and mentally tired.

not because of studies but because of...

i really want to just throw it down and don't bother about it

but the thing is that, i can't.

i've suffered so many sleepless nights just worrying about it

n now its evading my mind even though i need to fill it with maths n bio.

maybe i'm taking the wrong approach in this.

anw, i was pissed with someone last week.

n she made me so pissed that i really wanted to strangle someone

again, she should just show some RESPECT to ppl around her

she anyhow jumped to conclusions n got angry at me coz she thought i went off even if it was my duty. the thing is, i didn't n even if i did, at least i had the basic courtesy to tell her which she didn't when she just sneaked off a few weeks ago without telling anyone, causing us to change our plans.

n den again, she totally likes to pick on certain ppl n make them look so bad. yea,like wad does she have against them? she just dun like their face issit? but she's equally bad anw.

maybe its not right of me to openly show my displeasure for her but she should just get out of my way. i'm way past the period of disappointment and starting to dislike her.

i've given up on hoping she would change coz i know i've given her too many chances and tolerated too much.

2008-04-12T09:54:00.002+08:00

maybe staying back n school is more effective than going home

at least i didn't waste my whole afternoon away by sleeping:)

n finished my ying yong wen on the day it was given

haha i can imagine huang lao shi's face when she saw i handed in so early

but then with the canteen right in front of me, i couldn't resist myself from not eating

anyway, some random thoughts:

i wish i could try flying coz i always had myself rooted to the ground

i was afraid, timid and cowardly, never wanting to do anything that i deemed impossible

but nothing's impossible, i just have to try.

i want to be myself, and stop trying so hard to be like some people

coz i always try but fail, and end up look awkward in the middle of nowhere

maybe i just dun have it in me .

i want to persevere to the end, but can i?

my determination is as good as zero.

i keep talking to myself, but has it worked?

i can go much further, its whether or not i am satisfied with what i am.

spread your wings and fly, coz that's the greatest gift of being a child.

2008-04-05T20:47:00.002+08:00

somehow i feel that the time with band was really short. we hardly even bonded with our sec 2 juniors n now its like time to leave .n wad makes it sadder is seeing how other sections are so close to their juniors. maybe its because i spent to much time doing admin work rather then with my section n now i'm really regretting it. now that i can relax a bit, i really want the time to really bond with trumpet section.maybe i shouldn't have thought that there's a lot of time coz there really isn't. maybe joining nbc is the perfect opportunity to bond as a section. i dun want band to end on this note.

there's this part of me who wants more.

2008-04-05T19:56:00.003+08:00

the last week had been busy coz of the 4 tests we had but there's a sense of satisfaction coz they're all over now:)

anw so tues was april's fools day so we decided to trick the teachers!

so during SEL, some ppl from CHAM switched classes and the Mr Ang didn't even realise until Mr G came over! but Mr A just continued teaching like nothing happened so it wasn't really funny but den during chemistry, we decided to all volunteer to answer den say i dun noe so when mr A asked, we all raised our hands and he got a shock! he said, "wah 4A y today so good" den he called someone den she said i dunnoe! den he called another person who also said i dunnoe! it was so funny but in the end we answered of course. den during english we decided to let jaanani conduct the lesson so when mdm A walked in, jaan pretended to wipe the board.so unsuspecting Mdm A said happily "good morning class" den we said "good morning Ms Jaanani"!!so jaan asked us to sit down n started teaching tamil! n mdm A just sat down at the teacher's table laughed until jaan got nothing else to teach! haha it was just so hilarious!

so yesterday was speech day. i'm having mixed feelings coz i dun want to take part in nbc coz of the exams but den if i dun take part, yesterday would be my last performance with the band. after having so much fun yesterday, i'm not sure if i really want to end band like this. coz i wasn't mentally prepared. but thinking that i will not have the chance to practise with the band, practise with trumpets, practise with Ms Sia, there's this sense of longing to experience all these again. i want to take part in nbc, but i'm afraid. is there anything that can pull me back from wad i really want?

2008-03-29T15:45:00.002+08:00

watched giselle in the park yesterday

was super hot n squeezy! we went early to chope space [typical singaporeans] but in the end the rest came so late that the space we ended up with was so small n everyone squeezed there

n i perspired like mad so i wasn't exactly enjoying myself haha but then, rena forgot to go on stage during her turn so we missed her spilt haha

then the angmohs around us didn't seem to be affected by the weather n they were still drinking wine n all while we were half talking n eating haha

then today, was the meet-the-parents session. then the principal was speaking abt statistics as usual. then we met mdm lum. apparently she didn't know me so she was just commenting based on my results which wasn't exactly useful. so we wanted to wait for mr ang but then there was this long queue for him so we gave up waiting. haha while my parents were sitting around waiting, the pricipal walked past n just sat down n chatted for quite awhile and my parents were apparently hinting to her that the hall was super hot n that we can't concentrate during our O's haha

anw, the past week have been really busy with all the understudies stuff. so far not very good but not very horrible either. haha i'm waiting for new surprises!!

2008-03-24T21:31:00.000+08:00

today Ms Sia created the first Sia Stand which she sells in the SIA shop in tanglin shopping centre that she opened 2 weeks ago. The Sia Stand holds the trumpet up and prevents it from going down.

hah.trust her to come up with that!

n it caused me and amirah to get into fits of laughter coz it was simply to lame.

btw, she drove a bus today to fetch ppl to bukit batok park where she stays.

and today during bio, as usual the aircons didn't work!you see, bio teachers only know how to dissect hearts and lungs, not air cons:)

then Ms tan was saying how in some classes, only the bio rep bravely hands in her piece of completed assigment coz the whole class didn't do. and yong tau fu immediately burst out laughing and said loudly,"HAHA! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!HAHA"

2008-03-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

maybe i should just shun qi zi ran

now i know how she felt.

2008-03-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

maybe today i messed up my life.

n confused myself with wad i did.

i just need to get used to it.

2008-03-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

when can you start being serious?

the fact that she scolds you and makes a big fuss about you not going for band is because she actually cares

she knows that you've got more than what you have given.

if she has given up on you, she wouldn't even bother.

2008-03-10T20:50:00.000+08:00

yesterday, went to mummy's house to play. we actually wanted to play tug-of-war but the skipping rope simply got longer as we started to pull haha . then we went to the pool to play instead n we were creating obstacle courses in the pool that we had to complete in teams. in the end i got very wet coz tracy n rena kept splashing water at me despite knowing that i got extra clothes but no extra ________. anw when rena n i reached, meiying was supposed to come down n fetch us. BUT they send mei mei down instead purposely! so mei mei was carrying meiying's phone den we were quite suspicious coz there was some part of her that didn't look like meiying! so we asked her who are we n she answered it correctly. but den her actions were different, much more chor lor den meiying so we kinda saw thru their trick haha

Then today, they came to my house instead. it was supposedly a study thing but study groups usually ended up in er playing haha. so we did physics n bio till like 3.30, which was abt 1 hour plus, before turning our study group into a 'gambling' group! then we played truth or dare and turns to do the dare which was prank calling haha! so we came up with stupid scenarios n some actually believed !

maybe i should just start mugging and stop playing and watching tv non-stop. coz its like march now, and 6 weeks to MYEs. someone should just confiscate my mac or something.haha

2008-03-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

decided to move coz i couldn't stand my old blog URL:)

anw holidays are here

there isn't much hmwk though:)

but have to go sch for 4 days

oh well haha

yay my parents coming back from taiwan tmr

they're bringing back lots of food n magazine for me :)