reading A's blog really inspires me:)

Y11:58 PM

Maybe its me. I never seem to be able to keep in contact with my last time friends

but its ok, I guess it isn't too late to start now:)

Y11:31 PM

Y12:27 AM

And I saw something that I haven't saw for a long time.

I walked past the kindergarden, and it was bustling with parents/grandparents/maids picking the kids up from school. They were all holding umbrellas, carrying the kids bags and helping them wipe sweat etc.

It was about 13/14 years ago when I was there, wearing exactly the same blue dress that haven't changed over the years, and my aunt picked me up everyday after school. I didn't spend long in that kindergarden, but I could still remember some of the memories I had there. Some embarrassing stuff, now that I think of it haha.

Over the years I got busier, spending my time chasing after some things that now I think of it is quite meaningless. It made me achieve a lot more, I wanted it, yet I was constantly in pain and panicking over such stuff.

The past few months a lot of people have started talking to me about life, giving me advice, my tuition teacher, coach, my doctor, my cousin etc. It made me think through a lot. But it was great, remembering the times when I was young.

Y11:35 PM

Firstly, you are one of my bestest friend, and you will be forever.

After reading your post I now know why.

Its ok, its not your fault and I'm glad that you can "read my mind like a book" and understood what I was trying to say. (I was just being whiny at that time haha)

I felt touched at your post too, and I'm glad that you feel the same too.

I will not let go either and I hope to hear you play again:)

Love, no mole.

Y2:11 AM

(I should seriously stop whining haha)

Anw, had a thousand and 1 serious things to do today, but nothing was completed, woke up at 1130, and went out. Went on a shopping craze, bought $180 bucks worth of stuff at charles and keith (to get the membership haha) though i only watched my mom on a shoe craze coz half the time i was holding her 4 pairs of shoes and thinking whether to buy that bag haha. Bought it in the end, but it haven't really sunk in yet. Went Suntec and squeezed my way through the super crowded malaysia fair, and had a great time exploring the many coaches that the different companies offered with sis, but decided in the end to go ourselves which was much cheaper. Had thai food for dinner, ordered so much, but everything was too spicy for me to enjoy. But the cat incident really spiced up the whole dinner :) had a great time laughing haha

Did so many other things except what I had to do haha.

But finally had the chance to spend my time with my family after so long:)

Y1:56 AM

Maybe if you are reading this, you might know its you.

Y2:32 AM

I didn't blog because I was really busy the past few months, which zoomed past, and that I couldn't really find a blogging style that suited me. but now that I started again, I wonder who's going to read it haha. But nevertheless, I'm just going to start blogging and keep to it haha

Anw, now that promos are over, there's a lot of time for me to really sit down and think about stuff. Khairiah and Drina would probably say I'm brooding about stuff, but really, I just need to rethink about my life. The past few years I have always planned out my life really well, like intending to go this school, take this course, take this job up and get married at 30 and be a yummy mummy and etc. But I looked around and saw people who didn't exactly planned out their lives and actually took a step at a time, and they are actually enjoying themselves. Some people told me stuff that really got me thinking. Here I was, trying hard to fulfill my goals and in the midst, I realised that maybe I'm not exactly suited to do what I wanted to do. I wanted those goals because I thought it would make me happy and of course have a comfortable life. Like getting into med school and becoming a doctor. Now that I ask myself, I don't even know why I wanted to be a doctor. I had a reason but is this the real reason or something that i convinced myself to believe? Moreover, I'm not even mentally strong enough to be a doctor, and I really do not think that I would have the passion to continue with it for at least 10 years. Would I neglect my family because of the time consuming job that comes with it?

I've been thinking for quite some time what I should do if I don't choose to study medicine but I couldn't come up with something that really interests me. I would just laugh at myself if I ever end up in the teaching profession haha.

Y2:04 AM